Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Anxious Thoughts on a Tuesday

I've had no time to write. Plus, everything just comes out as drivel lately. Therefore, you get an urgently written poem that captures my thoughts. I hear the cumulative crying of all toddlers down the east coast as we click into the five o'clock witching hour. Be comforted. You are not alone. I am definitely crazier than you.

Anxious Thoughts on a Tuesday

Beating Beating Beating
I hear that hum of anxiety buzzing
I smell the burning of my insides
I feel them bouncing off the furniture
I sense poop being smeared on walls
It’s madness
It’s dizzying
Time is tick tick ticking
Five O’clock
Dinner isn’t made
Dishes still in the sink
Sadness, awash of hot darkness
I’ve done it again, let time get spoiled, go bad
And now I’ve got a rotten day
And still not dinner
Books stacked, pages read, not many
Phone blinking, messages, useless nothing
Can I have a do-over?
But I’d still have to work
Can I get an extra day this week?
No. Well, fuck you then. Sod off.
And now, minutes more of nothing
No shower. No exercise.
Did I mention no dinner?
Leftovers of the packaged food we ate yesterday
Stellar.
Mom of the year.
Well they had homemade bread for lunch.
I’ll shower tomorrow.
I’ll cook tomorrow.
I’ll write tomorrow.
Hey, stupid, get off your ass and go.
I’m fucking writing a poem.
Give me a break.



2 comments:

cnbovee said...

well said

Rebekah Bennetch said...

Hi Heather,

I can't message you on FB, and I didn't see an email, so hopefully this comment will get through to you! :) I'm with the Parents Beyond Belief blog, and I would love to have you as a guest contributor. If you like, feel free to contact me by email: rbennetch at gmail dot com.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Rebekah

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