Seriously, I realize that spirituality and the pursuit of growth and strength and light is going to be the thing that gets me through this life. I am really tired of having no set of beliefs. Now, I am completely skeptical of everything, but I think it's high time that I find some sort of practice that fits with what I believe to help keep me on the right path. I just keep tumbling along. I mean, at least when I was in therapy I had that to believe in and practice. Now I just go through my days existing with no structure and no practice and no core. I keep thinking that if I just sit down and make a list or a plan that everything will go more smoothly, but I am beginning to see that it is far more fundamental than that. I need to get things straight in my head and my heart and the rest will follow. Duh.
Now, all you Christians, don't get all excited. I don't think this is the Holy Spirit bringing back into the fold. To tell you the truth, that would actually be a relief - to have some sort of concrete idea of how the world works and where I'm going when I die. But the truth is, I just don't believe it. I just don't believe Jesus died for my sins. First of all, I don't believe in "sin" in the Christian sense of the word.
Here's what I'm starting out with as the basics of what I believe.
There is a Divine of some kind - maybe many. Not too sure on the particulars or how personal he/she/they are, but I do believe in there being some kind of greater force, energy or light in the universe that we are drawn to and that keeps things moving.
We are human. We are held back from the divine by our ego. I am very much in agreement with Eckhart Tolle on his view of the ego. But I don't think of this as a shameful, guilty sin nature that needs to be beaten into submission. I just think this is the other half of the universe - form.
I do believe in there being some reason behind things and coincidences/moments of the miraculous that draw us to the divine. I am more of the mind that this is like seeing the Matrix and not God wooing me with his love.
I think there is some reciprocity in life. I'm not sure about the whole "Law of Attraction" but it does seem that if you are doing right and making right choices, things come back positive in your life. Maybe it's about how you see the world and how you see difficulty - more as an asset than a hindrance. And if you're living well and growing and pursuing excellence in your entire being then things seem to line up a lot better. Maybe it's spiritual, or maybe it's just common sense.
I guess I also believe in some simple rules and goals of living.
Eat healthy whole foods.
Don't spend more than you have.
Keep your house clean.
Try not to let things in your life get out of balance.
Have some quiet time each day dedicated to personal growth and peace.
Take time to do nothing.
Just be with people you love.
Holy Crap! While writing this and poking around online for some info to try and nail down exactly how to say what I believe, I came across Belief-O-Matic on Beliefnet. You answer questions about your view of God/Spirituality, and it tells you what religions match up most closely to your set of beliefs. How sweet is that!!!
So, here are my Top 5 results:
1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. New Age (95%)
3. Neo-Pagan (94%)
4. Mahayana Buddhism (83%)
5. Liberal Quakers (83%)
Wow! To think I've been doing all this searching and had come up with very similar results. I could have just taken this quiz a long time ago and gotten on my way!!!
The only thing I dislike about the Unitarians is that it is loosely based on Christianity. There are still a lot of similarities. Well, that is based on the very rudimentary research I have done thus far (about 10 minutes). I like the idea of a totally new approach. I'm definitely drawn to all three of the Paganism, Buddhism and Quakers. Again though, the Quakers are based on Christianity. There's still a belief in Satan, which I totally oppose.
Okay, so I'm narrowing down my choices.
Now, I know you're thinking that I must just be completely mad to be choosing a religion in this manner and to be basing my life/death/eternity on a roll of the dice like this. It's really not as willy-nilly as you might think. I am split. Part of me really desires to have a specific set of beliefs or even just some practice that is part of some institution. I like the idea of following a set of practices that help me along my path toward enlightenment. However, as I have a difficult time swallowing any particular doctrine or defined set of beliefs, this may well be very difficult.
I think that in the coming weeks and months I am going to do some research and pursue the following:
I'll let you know how it goes.