Well, we had the big sonogram yesterday. It was amazing. It's a little frustrating as the mother because you have to crane your neck to see the screen, and it mostly looks like blobs and blurs. The sonographer seems to know what everything is, and is feverishly marking images and cataloguing details. We were glued to the screen in case we recognized anything. And then suddenly you would see a face or feet or legs. She'd say, "This is an arm." It was crazy. There really is a developing little human in there - inside my belly.
My daughter is completely upside down. I find this to be totally bizarre. I realize that's the position they're supposed to be in for delivery, but doesn't it just seem unnatural. Doesn't all the blood rush to her little head??
I spent the better part of the day yesterday just in awe. My brain just cannot seem to take in the information. Shouldn't I be evolutionarily prepared for this? Aren't I designed for motherhood? Then why can't I grasp the concept of this human being inside me who will one day come out and be someone. Well, she is someone. I think because I can't see her, and I haven't been feeling too much yet. But Marco reminds me that she is already formed. She still seems like a figment of my imagination. It drives me insane to not know and have to wait. I carry this person around inside me who I don't even know - how weird is that?? She might be sweet as pie or a difficult pain in the butt. She might have brown skin or porceleine. She might have dark curly hair or blonde straight hair. She might be anyone or anything. Well, as he keeps telling me, she already is. Wow. Now we just have to wait to find out.
I guess waiting is a good thing. We are so not ready to suddenly have an infant. We are still sleeping on the floor in the attic and have no kitchen. Soon - it will all be done soon. We hope. We have about 18 weeks to get everything ready. We have 18 weeks until this little human comes storming into our lives. We have 18 weeks until our DAUGHTER is born. Holy freaking crap!!!
So, this morning I had to get up at the butt-crack of dawn in order to go meet with this dude about a job. I was lying there trying to pretend I didn't have to get up and negotiating what I could neglect in my morning routine to allow more sleeping. Suddenly I felt all this wooshing inside me. I mean, this kid was moving all around. They say it feels like a butterfly, but that is not it. It feels exactly as you would think - like an alien is swimming around inside you. It's cool and disconcerting at the same time. I mean, if this keeps up (which it is supposed to), I'm going to be completely distracted ALL THE TIME. How can one concentrate with a human/alien moving inside their belly? I almost woke up Marco to tell him, but I'm not sure why. He can't feel it yet. I wish he could. It is pretty cool. I mean, it's stinking amazing. What is she doing in there - somersaults??
Here are her wee little pictures.
Can you believe those feet??? Is it just me, or are they really long? Is she going to have giant feet like me? Oh, I have so many questions....!!!!