Wednesday, March 7, 2007

The Tuna Grief Cycle

Denial

I didn't just eat that tuna sandwich. I surely only ate half. Maybe someone else has some tuna round this place.

Anger

Fuck. I can't believe my tuna sandwich is gone. What an idiot. How could I have eaten the best sandwich of my life before 11:00? You are a pathetic tuna-craving loser with no will power.

Bargaining

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to eat a little extra tuna this week. Maybe I could buy one later today. What restaurant has tuna sandwiches? Maybe I can make one for dinner. It wouldn't hurt my fetus too much to have tuna three times this week, would it? Surely not. How bad is mercury anyway?? I mean, come on!!

Depression

My empty plate stares back, a tuna-less void. All joy of mayonnaise and sweet relish are gone. All tasty bites are over. How can I begin to think of having no more tuna until next week? How can I make it through?

Acceptance

Alas, the tuna was delicious, and it is only a short seven days until I can enjoy it once again. Farewell, sweet sandwich of such great delight. May you provide nourishment to my body and my growing child without too much mercury. A blissful moment of taste now passed...

1 comment:

Katiedid said...

Again, hilarious. I'm so with you!
This is Katie (Kjome) Collins by the way, ;)

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