Tuesday, February 6, 2007

I pooped this morning.

This may not be something you want to hear nor something that sounds in the least bit important. But, LET ME TELL YOU, it is!! It is a heroic feat. There are many factors that have to line up in order for this to be accomplished. And, even then, it is with great effort, sometimes pain. For starters, I have to get a ridiculous amount of fiber in my diet all throughout my day. Then, I have to take stool softners. Then, I have to use suppositories, sometimes several. It is definitely a struggle.

And here I am eating a slice of PIZZA. What, am I insane?? There is no fiber in a slice of pizza. This will not come out the other end with grace and ease. Son of a...
Well, I had some vegetable soup earlier. Oh crap, that is all the fiber I've had today. I better hit the prune juice, do some walking and eat some raisin bran for dinner. I'll definitely have to take the stool softners again.

Tomorrow is my first ultrasound, and I don't want them to not be able to see my kid through all the crap in there. Maybe they will see it all and allow me to use an enema. I'm dying to do that. I know it sounds like the last thing in the world one would want to do, but it sounds so relieving to me.

Yes, this is my first post, and you, internet people, are finding out I am a) pregnant and b) constipated. What a joy! The two certainly go hand in hand, and now you might be less concerned about my GI Tract and more concerned about my child. I'm sure he/she/they are fine. Why they? I've had this odd feeling that I'm having twins. I'm a feeling person, so I'm not putting much stock in it, but it would be pretty cool if I was confirmed. I don't know how cool it would be to actually give birth to two babies and have to care for two babies, but I like the idea.

I was thinking this morning as I grumbled through putting the clothes into the dryer, "How am I going to get everything done when I have an infant?" I'm already a slacker and not getting things done. Is my entire house going to be a giant cluttered mess? Will I rise to the occasion and quit complaining and be a Super Mom? Doubtful. I mean, don't get me wrong. I know I'm going to be a great mother when it comes to caring and loving and fun and all that. I just don't know if I'll be the cleanest or the most productive. Am I selling myself short? Am I settling for less? Maybe. Or maybe I'm being realistic. I think Marco thinks that admitting to things and being realistic is the first step in defeat. I see it as liberating and freeing me up to focus on the important things.

Well, off to searching for the best in baby equipment and nursery furniture!! (I do have a job too.)

1 comment:

Aimee said...

I found your blog through the random search. All I have to say, is get used to being constipated! When you are pregnant, it's the hardest thing to do! No pun intended! :) Good Luck with your ultrasound!

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